2017. St. Mark’s Cathedral, Venice.
End of an amazing trip with my wife. We had married earlier that year, together for many prior. We hit several cities, 17-20K steps a day, engulfing loads of pizza, treats, and wine- and ended up leaner than I started (food quality matters.. sigh) 🤪
When I think about this trip, I think about gratitude. Sure, that we were afforded an envious lifestyle some only dream of. A lot of folks will never travel too far, and not for pleasure. I think how through a combination of luck, grit, fate and wits, we were able to carve something wonderful for ourselves.
But I think about gratitude for what is even greater than that trip and its splendor. Our family as it exists now, didn’t exist then. It was just a dream.
We knew we wanted a child, but knew it wouldn’t be easy, and might not be in the cards for us.
On the final night, in a crowded square with amazing wine to soak it all in, we both felt low. We got moody.
Ultimately, we “had it all” as some friends at work would say… they were stuck home with kids, the time, energy and financial constraints that come with that life.
It’s something a lot of articles are circulating, too: the great life of DINKs (dual income, no kids). It’s great to remove the social pressure to have kids for those who don’t want them, but I wonder if for some - it is an enabling narrative to substitute pleasures and distractions for purpose and fulfillment.
We had a hole in our hearts and in our lives. And we knew it. Fast forward past a lot of hope, a lot of tears, a lot of modern medical miracles and a lot of old school, Old Testament miracles.. we had a child.
We have a family. Our hearts are full, our beings fulFILLED.
This isn’t a post telling people to have kids. But if you do, you know. Sometimes it’s hard to stay present and grateful. The daily grind, the daily stressors. The daily whines the daily tiffs.
You wish you could have it all.
And we have to realize. And remember.
We do.